I am a strange thing.
I was raised Atheist by lapsed (walked away fast) Catholics.
In my mid teens I encountered Discordianism, through the Illuminati Trilogy, and it spoke to me. I also encountered Wicca, but in a hide bound bookish form that celebrated Midsummer in the depths of the Southern Winter.
A few years later I was firmly Discordian, and while ignoring a great many gods, found myself looking to Eris as the Feminine and Pan as the Masculine aspects of the Numinous. At that time my (now ex-)wife and I encountered a slightly more open form of Wicca that had just begun to celebrate seasons we experienced, not those marked on a Glastonbury souvenir calendar. The coven was also in transition to circling with the sun, not with the directions in books.
So I find myself Wiccan, henotheistically Erisian and seeing the Masculine energy in the figure or thought form of Pan in his aspect as practical joking god of shepherds and ordinary men. I try very hard to see the Gods are mental tools to assist in making the Numinous accessible on a human scale, however they refuse to be so constrained and overflow, at times inconveniently, into my life.
